Monday, May 18, 2015

“What It Feels Like To Be Wrongly Accused” Could This Be Your First Draft, Amanda Knox?

Posted by Chimera

Above: someone who unequivocally WAS wrongly accused - and still has seen no justice

What finally was published. You may decide if this was a scrapped first draft, with due caution!

I wanted to get it all out now, so I don’t have to keep explaining it a a hundred times, like I have been on CNN, ABC, NBC, Daybreak, or my memoir, or anyone else who would listen.

I have this dream in my head that when you accuse someone of a horrific act they didn’t do, they inevitably experience shock, disorientation, confusion.  They will likely get their name and photo in the paper, and forever be associated with a vile deed.  The emotional scars will remain, and their families and friends will abandon them or at least lose trust.  However, they did not suffer nearly as bad as you have, as some trauma, such as being slapped in the head, broke you down emotionally.

In all honesty, I know this is as strange to me as it is to everyone else.  Since most people don’t angrily deny false accusations, they just let the pressure squeeze their temples, and they let it become hard to concentrate.  But they are clearly acting suspiciously, if they don’t remember a fact correctly.  But even when they are locked up for that vicious crime, it has to be considered that they are still trying to help the police.

Truthfully, when you falsely accuse someone of murder, police strangely wonder why you did not bring this knowledge up before.  You try to keep a straight face, but there is tension in your right eyebrow, and below your right nostril and sometimes triggers you to twitch uncontrollably, making you self conscious about looking people in the face.  There’s a pinpoint knot that spasms between your heart making it hard to sit still, as your lies are crumbling around you.

But the truth is, this is still much easier than being outside a murder room with your hands over your ears, while your ‘‘friend’’ is being murdered.  After all, it could have been you.  The stress is causing you to vaguely remember things, about obscure texts, and to forget if your boyfriend is with you.  The stress causes you to smell, even after taking a shower, and to wake up first thing in the morning to buy bleach, as a sudden urge for housecleaning is therapeutic.

Honestly, it can be incredibly stressful to have to release this sudden burst of energy.  You yell, are anxious, and hit yourself in the head.  The police try to calm you down with food and drinks, but the visions and dreams are tormenting you, as you imagine that you have witnessed something horrific.  Yes, your friend let out a huge scream as she died, but you are not really lying when you tell the police who did it.  After all, your 2 hour police interview, or was is 14, 35 or 50? Or 150?... was tantamount to torture, and you should not have to be subjected to the stress of having to explain yourself a hundred times while the police investigate the murder of your friend.  You suffered too.

My best truth is that when people don’t trust you after making these false accusations, the anxiety arrives even at the most safe and casual of circumstances.  You’re hypersensitive to what people say, and how they say it.  They seem skeptical when you refer to things constantly as your best truth, or the truth you remember, or the truth you think is closest to the truth. There is an accumulation of primal anger and grief that can give no satisfactory expression when you start talking about visions you had, or how you vaguely remembered something happening. There is always this thought: how can you reconcile with significant parts of society whose trust you have abused?

I have nothing but lies to be afraid of.  But people take things out of context.  Saying someone had their f***ing throat slit is a way of explaining how a person died (even if I didn’t ‘‘officially’’ know it).  That person was my friend.  People can’t admit they were wrong when I make gurgling sounds and call blood ‘‘yucky’‘.  The can’t admit their mistakes when I say I only knew someone for a month, and want to get on with my life.  That person was my friend.  They find fault with everything when I say ‘‘shit happens’‘, and miss the memorial, because someone else made the decision for me.  That person was my friend.  They come up with speculation, and twist things around, and they are haters, when they complain about me wearing Beatles T-shirts in court.

In my head, the trauma felt by the victim of a wrongful accusation is foreign and unimaginable to the majority of people, that’s why I am here to help.  By that I mean write this story, not just make up (more) false accusations.

But, in the closest version of the truth, these are the questions that need answered: Why is the person I falsely accused angry with me?  Why is he not angry with the police for arresting him?  And why are the police now suspicious of me after making a false accusation?  Can they not see that I am a good person?  Why are people angry when I give interviews of get a million dollar book deal?  Can they not see I’ve suffered?  I mean, my friend (whose name I forget), was murdered, but it could just as easily have been me.  Why are people persecuting me? (loud sigh)

Honestly,  I am a victim here.  Why can you not see that?

Anyway, that’s all for now.  Just need to get on with my life.


Nice bit of creative writing!

The police torture was real- only thing that it was 100% internal. The interview brought out to the surface the things I was trying to hide- from myself. I was trying to run away, but simply moving in circles, around the crime scene, but really it was myself! I needed someone to pull me out of the maze but there was none. So I did what I did.

Of course the black chap was responsible- can’t you see how he praised the other girl- whats-her-name-I-dont-want-to-remember. Don’t you think it is fair to remove all of them from my way? Let it be- that is my way. I have to go on my way- why does someone come on my way? And cry if they die?

So-what-if-I-did-it! Anybody should have done the same if they were in my shoes. If they don’t, they are either hypocrites or cowards. Anyway they are not me.

The world belongs to the strong and powerful. I am both. I can use and abuse people at the same time. Did you say I am not normal? Ha! Be real- I am simply proud of what I have done. Someone died? So many people die everyday!

You don’t understand me? Just get away from my way.

Posted by chami on 05/18/15 at 07:24 PM | #

Such writing is a confirmation of madness of denying guilt and responsibility. It is also a confirmation that

“OH Yes I Can And Will Do It Once More Let Nobody Get In My Way.”

Such people as this should be put down like the rabid animals they are. They have no place within the human dynamic, the human race. They are beyond help because the denial will always continue even after they have killed again.

It will always be the fault of anybody but themselves. “Society is to blame”

The common denominator between Ted Bundy,John Wayne Gacy, Timothy McVeigh, Charles Manson, Jody Arias, Karla Hamolka, Aileen Wuornos, Christine Paolilla is the denial of guilt.

Amanda Knox also denies her guilt. In her mentally sick mind she has done nothing wrong and therefore she is absolved of all guilt. Amanda Knox belongs in an institution for the mentally insane for the rest of her unnatural life.

Posted by Grahame Rhodes on 05/19/15 at 03:04 AM | #

Thank you for this post Chimera. As written so well by Grahame, clearly Knox is an insane psychopath. If not arrested and imprisoned beforehand, I am quite sure that she will strike again. It is just a matter of time.

Her insanity is again seen in her recent Zombie attack video as well. There is no cure, no chance of any recovery and no way to educate people like this. They have to be put down or put away forevermore.

Posted by Johnny Yen on 05/19/15 at 04:57 AM | #

Thank you Chimera. Well imagined - a frightening portrait of the psychopathic mind.  The PR effort was of course like putting lipstick on a pig, but very many people were hoodwinked by it.

People often prefer an anodyne, manufactured image rather than have to acknowledge the grotesque character underneath. Too much reality is unsettling.

Incidentally, on the subject of PR, it seems odd to me the way Gogarty-Marriott PR closed its doors just before the final verdict. Were they fearful of a guilty verdict, after which all the PR image manipulation, etc., would be shown up for the deception that it was?

They may have anticipated that being seen to have aided a murderer would seriously damage their own corporate image.

Perhaps they are now wishing they’d stayed open to capture some of the “glory” from the acquittal. If so we can only earnestly hope they are seriously ticked off at missing a trick.

Posted by Odysseus on 05/19/15 at 12:16 PM | #

Thank you guys, but it wasn’t all that creative.  I just did a ‘‘mash-up’’ of that article, and a few of her pre-arrest statements.

Glad you liked it. 

Knox’s October 2014 article actually reads like a satire, but she published it as a serious piece.  Her ability to bulls*** is still amazing.

Posted by Chimera on 05/19/15 at 05:16 PM | #

Absolute camp, a perfect mirror of Knox’s circular talk and lies. Not one of her emotions is authentic after the murder.

I like the part where you point out that if she had even thought Patrick Lumumba had done the crime (rightly or wrongly, but in her fevered imagination had she suspected him seriously of the deed) she would have been screaming this fact into policemen’s ears in the front yard of the cottage, or in the early part of her police interview. She wouldn’t have been clowning around doing cartwheels but demanding to be heard about her suspicions.

So she never really thought Patrick did the crime but she blamed him anyway, then refused to pay him restitution.

He rejected all accusations by police that HE had killed anybody, and never insinuated the murderer was anyone in particular, having absolutely no knowledge of the situation whatsoever.

Then after DNA led to Rudy’s arrest a fully innocent person would have felt tremendous anger toward Guede for killing a friend.

They would not have shut up about it, especially if they had been thrown in prison for Guede’s crime!

Knox wrote very little in her prison diary about Guede. Compared to her usual verbosity Knox went so silent and respectful of Guede and merely tried to distance herself from him. This was after police had hard proof he killed her roommate! (and could have easily killed her)

@Chimera, this is fabulous. It takes a case insider like you to know and fuse a typical Knox fiction straight from the actual falsehoods that Amanda has written or spoken.

She also likes to hide in plain sight using creative writing, photos on Facebook, colored pix of a naked female all cut up into stained glass pieces,  Knox’s own two hands drawn and mailed to Rocco, music videos like Hands of Time (HOT) with ghouls and goblins and a female racing around a horror house only to return to an open jail cell and do art with dice on the table. She’s a gambler all right. Maybe she and Colin are in Vegas already.

Now years later we have a karaoke song she sings about dark themes like the horrors of war, death, zombies and dying. This song is presented right after an Innocence Gala and less than two months after her delicious new freedom and supposed vindication by the courts. It seems Knox is not deliriously happy.

She is no gingham and lace, butterflies and daisies gal painting rainbows and unicorns, except maybe for The Seattle Herald articles she wrote based on school topics interviewing kids. That kept her on a non-morbid track, otherwise… meth and the pole dance not so unlikely.

Posted by Hopeful on 05/19/15 at 11:10 PM | #

Very good points, Hopeful, re your first section - with the way AK blurts things out, and shows her anger, and can’t stop talking at times…

Posted by SeekingUnderstanding on 05/19/15 at 11:19 PM | #

One of the biggest telltale signs of guilt: Knox won’t openly answer questions now.  It is one thing to not answer when court proceedings are pending, it is quite another to lay low ‘AFTER’ Cassation went her way.

Of course if Knox actually had valid answers, and wanted to prevent this Cassation verdict from being butchered, she could put our many questions to rest openly and honestly.

Yes, you could argue that she is being humble and respectful, although it was never her M.O. in the past. In fact she did about 25-30 interviews since being released in October 2011.  You’d think she was running for office.

This was fun to write up.  Thanks for the feedback: Chami, Grahame R., Odysseus, Johnny Yen, Hopeful & SeekingU.

I would like to do a ‘‘rework’’ of the December 2013 email to Judge Nencini, which SeekingUnderstanding and Finn MacCool first posted on.  Their reviews were stunning to read.

P.S. The YouTube video for Knox’s full May 2014 interview with Chris Cuomo (about 23 minutes long), has disappeared.  If someone finds, please let me Knox.  Or, does someone have a copy?  Oh, well, at least we have a transcript.

Posted by Chimera on 05/20/15 at 02:19 AM | #

Just re-read Finn McCool and Seeking Understanding’s posts on the infamous email. Fantastically analytical insights from both. Thanks.

Posted by pensky on 05/20/15 at 10:54 PM | #

Thank you pensky, and Chimera.
It did take some in-depth analysis. I was recovering from an operation, and it took my mind off it for 2 weeks!

I would be interested to see some satire using it as a base, - it will probably lend itself. Satire can often open eyes - especially to contradictions and paradox (and insincerity) - where straight serious writing does not.

Posted by SeekingUnderstanding on 05/21/15 at 11:42 AM | #
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